How to Find Roommates You Actually Want to Live With
TL;DR: Living with the wrong people turns a dream apartment into a nightmare. Ask about cleanliness, noise tolerance, guests, and money upfront. Trust your gut after meeting in person. And always, always have a written rules document.
Most student housing problems aren't about the flat itself. They're about who you share it with. Here's how to do it right.
Where to find flatmates
- University Facebook groups: search "[University Name] Housing [Year]" or "Erasmus [City] [Year]". These are full of students looking for the same thing you are.
- Subreddit city groups: r/Amsterdam, r/Berlin, r/Lisbon, etc. Most have pinned monthly housing threads.
- Platform profiles: HousingAnywhere, Spotahome, WG-Gesucht let you filter by roommate preferences.
- Your university's international office often maintains a housing board or partners with specific landlords.
- Word of mouth: current students at your future university, reach out via LinkedIn or Instagram.
10 questions to ask before moving in
Send these to anyone you're thinking of living with. Their answers tell you everything.
- What time do you usually wake up and go to bed? Mismatched sleep schedules destroy flat harmony.
- How often do you clean, and what's your definition of clean? One person's "tidy" is another's "disaster zone."
- Do you have partners or guests staying overnight often? Frequency matters more than the fact.
- How do you feel about background noise, TV, music, phone calls?
- Are you a plan-ahead person or a last-minute person for rent, bills, groceries?
- Do you cook at home or eat out? Shared kitchens live or die on this question.
- Who pays the utility bills, and how do we split them?
- What's your smoking/vaping policy? Inside, balcony, or never?
- What happens if someone loses their key at 3 AM?
- Have you lived with flatmates before? What went wrong last time?
The last question is the most revealing. Listen for blame vs self-awareness.
Meet in person (or at least live video) before signing
Texting is deceiving. Thirty minutes of real conversation tells you more than a hundred messages. Watch for:
- Do they make eye contact?
- Do they answer the hard questions or deflect?
- Do they ask YOU questions, or just pitch themselves?
Good flatmates are curious about you too.
The flat rules document
Before anyone moves in, write down:
- Rent and bill splitting (who pays what, by when)
- Cleaning rota (who cleans what, how often)
- Guest policy (how many nights per month is okay)
- Quiet hours (weeknights and weekends)
- What's shared vs personal in the kitchen
- Notice period if someone leaves
Everyone signs it. This isn't paranoia, it's peace of mind. If a conflict happens later, you refer to the doc, not to memory.
Red flags to walk away from
- Refuses to answer financial questions
- Wants you to sign a lease without meeting
- Has been kicked out of a flat recently and won't say why
- Pressures you to decide today
- Vague about how utilities have been split previously
Green flags to run toward
- Asks about your routine and preferences in detail
- Wants to meet for coffee or a proper call before committing
- Has a positive reference from a previous flatmate
- Is upfront about their own quirks (messy vs tidy, early vs late)
- Comfortable discussing money openly
A good flatmate is worth the extra week of searching. Don't settle just to move in fast.